Good manners are important for children and adults. If someone is kind enough to give you a gift or do something for you, take the time to thank them, it’s just the right thing to do.

It seems like the further we advance digitally the less we send thank you cards and notes. Text messages and email are not appropriate to use in place of an actual note or card sent in the mail.

I believe there are a few reasons why people don’t send thank you notes, they don’t have cards or note paper on hand, or they don’t believe they have the time.

There are two easy solutions, one, keep a stack of thank you cards, blank cards, stationary and envelopes on hand. You can buy these at the dollar store. Fill a small container or basket with cards, stationery, envelopes, address labels, pens and stamps. This makes it very convenient when you need to send a thank you or other correspondence. And two, don’t feel like you need to write a book, a few simple sentences are enough to express your thanks.

Time Frame for Sending a Thank You

Send as soon as possible. It takes just a few minutes to write it, address it and drop it in the mailbox. Although it is never too late to thank someone sooner is better than later.

When to Send Thank You Cards & Notes

When you Receive a Gift

Anytime you receive a gift send a thank you. Mention the gift by name and show your appreciation.

Something Nice

Send a thank you when someone does something nice for you or does you a favor, it will mean a lot to the person receiving it.

Weddings & Babies

Always send thank you’s for wedding, engagement, bridal shower, baby shower and new baby gifts. Shortly after the event mail the cards. Plan ahead by buying the thank you cards and stamps before the event takes place.

Mention the gift by name and include phrases like “I love it!” or “it was perfect!” to make them feel good about the gift they chose.

When opening gifts keep a list that includes the name of the person and the gift that was received so you know what to thank them for. Having a designated person as the list maker allows you to open the gifts knowing everything is being documented.

Job Interview

Send a thank you after a job interview, this is more personal than email and makes you stand out from the crowd.

Letter of Recommendation

Send a thank you anytime someone writes you a letter of recommendation. It is a nice way to acknowledge your appreciation for their time and support.

After Receiving Condolences

Send a thank you when you receive cards, flowers, donations, or food after you have experienced a loss. This can be a difficult time, so a short note is perfectly acceptable.

Special Event or Dinner Party

Always send a thank you after a special event or dinner party. Hosting a party is a lot of work and thanking the host lets them know you appreciate the effort that went into planning and hosting the gathering. Make a point to mention something special about the event.

Birthday Party

Send a thank you very soon after the party, thank them for the specific gift that was received. Keep a list of who gave what so you can personalize each card. If it was a party for children, they should send the cards before they are allowed to enjoy the gifts.

Graduation

Send a thank you for each gift that is received.

Thank a Host

If you were a house guest send a thank you card to the host a day or two after returning home. Thank them for specifics, such as their accommodations, meals that were prepared or dinners out and events you attended with them. Be a gracious house guest by thanking them for everything.

Life Helpers

An idea I love is sending thank you letters to the people who have made a significant impact in your life. This can include your parents, friends, family, teachers, mentors, bosses and supervisors, and anyone else who has helped you in some way. Often, we think about these people and appreciate what they have done for us but have never expressed our feelings of gratitude to them. Life is short and writing someone a letter or thank you note is a wonderful way to let them know how they have influenced you.

People Who Perform Daily Tasks

This could be a coworker, janitor, housekeeper, neighbor, childcare provider, service provider, public servant, or anyone else whose job it is to assist you in some way. It is kind to thank them for what they do, people always want to feel appreciated.

Hospital or Illness Visits

If you were hospitalized or ill at home send thank you cards to visitors and anyone who provided support for you during that time. This can include friends, relatives, coworkers, and medical professionals who helped with your care.

What to Include

Start with a greeting “Dear followed by the recipient’s name” is a safe standard greeting appropriate for almost any type of note or card. One mistake you don’t want to make is spelling the person’s name wrong, so double check the spelling. Depending on your relationship with the person it may be appropriate to address them by their first name or you may need to use something more formal.

Thank them near the beginning of the message, include specific details about what you are thanking them for. It needn’t be a long message. The intent is to display your gratitude. You can include a meaningful quote if you like.

End with your kind regards, you might want to include some warm words about the person, if you will be seeing them again soon mention that you are looking forward to the event. 

Thank You Dos

Send thank you notes promptly.

Add personal details.

Choose the appropriate stationery, card or note for the recipient and situation.

Double check your spelling.

Hand write your message.

Identify the gift or act of kindness.

Thank You Don’ts

Don’t use text messages or email in place of a thank you card, note or letter.

Don’t write a book, keep it simple, elegant and personal, but include at least three sentences.

Don’t gush or exaggerate, that comes across as insincere.

Don’t send a pre-printed generic messages in place of a personal thank you note.

Don’t get off topic or talk about yourself, remember this is about their gift and thoughtfulness.

Don’t ask your guests to address their own thank you note envelopes.

Don’t mention money, if they gifted money, don’t name the amount. Say “Thank you for the generous gift.”

Don’t forget formality, if you are sending the note to a customer or business associate use the appropriate salutation. Use first names when you are on a first name basis with the person.